


Stop Calling Me Brother When You're Trying To Kiss Me

by Camikila



Series: Fontcest [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Christmas, Easter, Ecto-Tongue, Fluff, Halloween, Holiday hijinks, M/M, Mistletoe, Post-Pacifist Route, Requited Love, Sans in a skeleton kigurumi, Sans in bunny ears+ tail, Sibling Incest, Skeleton Puns, St Patricks Day, Summer Solstice, Thanksgiving, Valentines, alcohol use, papyrus isn't so innocent, skeleton kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camikila/pseuds/Camikila
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans has had romantic feelings for his brother for a long time. It's no big secret and no one seems to hold it against him. Not even Paps. Sans figures if things are bound to reset anyways, he might as well low-key try to seduce Papyrus if he can.<br/>Just silly fluff, a bit of angst in the thanksgiving bit...and a lot of bad seduction techniques and scenarios.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Seduction Attempts

**Author's Note:**

> So I did not expect to be writing skeleton incest(why do I always ship the incest ship omg)....but I don't think at this point anyone would believe me. So here is a bunch of fluff between everyone's fav smol and tol beans. I'll probably write a one-shot sequel with the last big holiday (new years) ending in smut....but no promises.  
> (ps. I'm not pleased with how the thanksgiving bit but i rewrote it 3 diff times...so it is what it is)

Sans let out the breath he was holding in before heading into the kitchen to see Papyrus. "Hey bro, I want tibia your valentine."  
"Sans!" Papyrus groaned in frustration.  
Sans blushed, hiding the box of chocolates behind him. "Heh. Yeah guess the kid was right. Just doesn't work on brothers."

***

"Nope. I refuse." Sans crossed his arms. "Costumes are clearly not the way to go here." Especially not that one, Sans added to himself.  "Besides I'm not Irish."  
"That doesn't matter." Undyne insisted, decked head to toe in green.  
"It's not happening."

***

"Hey bro, hoppy Easter." This one was sure to work. Alphys had guaranteed it. He wasn't too fond of the ears but the tail was pretty cool. Besides, what did he have to lose?  
Papyrus stared at him in confusion and irritation. "Sans, what are you wearing?"  
Sans felt sweat bead on his skull. "A bunny outfit. It's Easter." He proceeded to fake hop like Alphys had shown him, shaking his pelvis a bit to wiggle the tail.  
"That's silly Sans, what would a bunny have to do with Easter?"  
Apparently the answer to 'what did he have to lose' was dignity.

***

Summer solstice was quickly becoming San's favourite holiday. "Hey Paps, I don't think you should have any more to drink." All night Papyrus had been sitting close, talking so much quieter than normal, leaning into Sans' side. Every word he spoke sent shivers down sans' spine.  
"Saaaans." Papyrus pouted when Sans took his half finished cooler away. "I want more!"  
Sans blushed heavily and hoped no one else saw. Papyrus had been making accidental innuendos all night and it took all Sans' strength to remember it was only the alcohol talking.

  
***

A hush went over the royal table and everyone looked at Sans who was the last to sit down. "I uh. I'm thankful I have such a great brother. Thanks for putting up with me bro."  
Papyrus was next. "I'm thankful for the human breaking the barrier and that you all have a friend like the great Papyrus."  
Sans plastered a grin on and tried his best not to show how much it hurt that Papyrus hadn't mentioned him. It shouldn't be a big deal…but it still hurt. Frisk seemed to notice and signed a quick 'sorry' to him.  
Later, when he'd filled up on turkey and grave, he excused himself under the guise of a turkey-induced nap. All he wanted was to pop home and mope in his room. The door in the guest room swung open before Sans could teleport and Papyrus walked in.  
"Paps, I just wanna be alone for-" He was cut off when Papyrus pulled him in for a hug.  
"I'm sorry I made you feel alone, Sans. I'm really thankful I have you."  
Sans nuzzled closer into the hug. "Thanks, bro."

***

"Sans!" Papyrus shouted, covering his eyes with his hands. "Isn't that indecent?" Stealing a peek at the costume through his fingers, Papyrus' face glowed orange.  
"Nah, Pap, humans don't think so anyways. Besides…it's like wearing pyjamas."  
"Pyjamas don't show everyone your bones!" Papyrus, still orange, looked anywhere except at Sans, clearly not pleased that everyone would see Sans dressed as he was.  
"Heh, bro, don't worry about it. It's bone to be a great Halloween."  
Papyrus groaned into his hands in frustration.

***

"Bro."  
"What is it Sans?"  
"Bro, look up."  
"Sans I'm busy trying to make a new spaghetti recipe Undyne showed me."  
"Bro."  
Papyrus sighed loudly in frustration, glanced up and rounded on Sans. "Stop calling me brother when you're trying to kiss me!"  
Sans stared at Papyrus, eye sockets wide and pupil-less. "I-uh…um," Sans began to stutter, dropping the mistletoe he'd been levitating above their heads. "Sorry."  
Papyrus smiled and bent down clacking his teeth against Sans' forehead.  
Sans blushed and looked at his slippers. Papyrus took a deep breath and tilted Sans' head up with his two fingers.  
"Sans, please." He didn't wait for Sans to reply, just brought his teeth to Sans' and sighed in contentment. When he pulled back, Sans pulled him in for another quick kiss. "Merry Christmas, brother." Papyrus sighed.  
Sans chuckled. "Merry Christmas Pap"


	2. Kiss And Confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure fluff. A short continuation of the mistletoe moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to write skele-smut but this fluffy thing needed to be done first so I didn't feel like I was skipping anything important. There's been a crazy amount of views and kudos on this and its totally blowing my mind. So...heres some fluff and now i'll get working on that smut i promised. :D

He couldn't say when he'd figured out his brother was in love with him. He couldn't even say for certain when he'd fallen for his brother in return. It seemed like it had been that way forever. It wasn't even until after they'd settled on the surface that he'd given it a second thought. Now, Sans brought it up, usually in the form of a joke or pun, at least once a week. Frankly, it was driving Papyrus crazy. Sans hardly let him get a word in edgewise and almost always left before Papyrus could react fully. It didn't help that Sans feigned ignorance if Papyrus brought it up later. After a while he dropped it altogether and tried to keep things as normal as possible despite Sans' flirting. If Sans didn't want to do more than flirt, Papyrus certainly wasn't going to be the one to push the issue.

At least, that had been the plan. Holidays were especially trying. It was hard enough to adjust to so many human holidays without Sans being distractingly cute. The mistletoe was just too much. Every part of his soul was yearning for contact…for Sans. 

He clacked their teeth together, orange colouring his face. He was certain that if Sans didn't kiss back, didn't want to, for whatever reason, there'd be no going back. For a moment, he felt that dread just hanging in the air between them before it was broken by Sans pulling him in again. It was all he could do to kiss back desperately, pressing in close.

"Finally."Sans sighed into the kiss. Papyrus pulled back to look him in the eye sockets. "What?" Sans asked, confused.

"Sans, I've been waiting for you to kiss me for over a year," Sans blinked up at him owlishly. "You never really gave me a chance to respond…"

"Heh. I've been a real bonehead haven't I bro?" Sans pressed his face against Papyrus' chest. 

Instead of responding, Papyrus tilted Sans' face up and pressed their teeth together again. Sans whined into the kiss, hands going up to Papyrus' shoulders to pull him closer. Pap conjured his tongue, pressing it against Sans' teeth, relishing in the moan it garnered from Sans. A moment later Sans had conjured his own tongue up and wrapped it around Papyrus’s. A shiver ran down Papyrus’s spine before he pulled back again, panting.

"Enough kissing for now Sans, I must finish making this recipe before everyone arrives for Christmas Eve festivities." With another quick kiss, Papyrus turned back to the stove.

Sans was left staring at him fondly, cheeks blue and soul beating loudly. "You really are the coolest, Pap."

"I love you too Sans."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you feel like dropping on over to my tumblr I'm comeonintothemadhouse.tumblr.com. I post a bunch of random shit but don't worry, if you need anything tagged, just shoot me a message, no prob. :)


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